Too Many Lost.....

Two weeks ago today, Scout was diagnosed with cancer. He had a tumour on his spleen that was bigger than his spleen itself, and it had also spread to most of his liver and up into his chest. He had been so brave he gave us no inclination he was suffering until it was too late for us to help him.

This morning we had to say goodbye to a dog that had given this vile disease the hardest run for its money I've ever seen. Scout simply refused to let cancer get the better of him and for the last two weeks he has been constantly at my side, even when it was clear that he was suffering from an internal bleed. Anyone who has ever had the privilege of owning a German Shepherd will know that loyalty, but the last two weeks have been beyond anything I have ever witnessed. His determination not to let illness take him from his family, to not miss out on a second of anything, breaks our hearts right now, but makes us feel so proud and lucky.

My understanding of Splenic tumours (and please excuse my lack of veterinary terminology)  is that every now and then they bleed into the abdomen, the body then reabsorbs the blood before the process starts all over again. Thus you witness the dog suffering lows and then picking right up. Eventually the tumour gives way completely and the dog suffers a bleed out that will lead to death. It's such an agonising waiting game with only one winner. This morning when Scout woke up on our bed we knew.

At the vets he was so calm. Rachel described it as "he was waiting for his Dad to tell him it was ok to go." I'd just spent two weeks telling him to hold on, but she was right. I believe if we'd put it off another half an hour he would of gone naturally. He was so tired.

As we pulled away from the vets, Star let out a huge bark. She's been with him so much in my van, I'm sure she knew he was gone.

Living with Scout wasn't always easy. Having turned up as a stray covered in engine oil, he was so confused and frightened with what was happening to him. It took him a long time to adapt to life in society, but we stuck by him and he grew into a sensational dog that we were all very proud of. Our home is not the same without him.....

Scout relaxes at HQ

Gema loves to play!

 The heartache doesn't just stop there. On Monday, Gema who has been with us for a long time was also diagnosed with cancer. This time a bone tumour in her front leg. Unlike Scout's form of the disease, this one is painful, and again we are left with no choice other than to manage her pain and do what is right for her when the time comes. You think dogs like Gema will be around forever, having to face the fact we are going to lose her is so hard, but we will be strong and always put her first. It's all we have left that we can do for her.














Then as the week has progressed the news filtered through that both Holly and Lucas had also passed away leaving families devastated and huge holes in lives that simply cannot be repaired. The numb feeling of having to accept that they are not there anymore is so raw, and the families of Holly and Lucas are both very prominent in our thoughts.

As you can see from the before and after pictures of Lucas, he had such an amazing turn around.....

I cannot express in words how low I feel right now. Hearts are broken, lives have been lived, leaving behind them gaping holes that cannot be fixed. Love has replaced fear.....