Change Lives

Change Lives

Sunday, 13 November 2016

Another Huge Loss.....

I've given myself 24 hours to compose myself but as I come to write this now I still feel pretty numb. Especially after just looking at the last post on here. Numb and raw at the same time.

With such a sad start to last week I tried to show something positive by posting how well Blade was looking. Little did I know that photo would be taken on my last walk with him.

Blade wasn't himself Wednesday so I took him to the vets on Thursday. Ha had become very lethargic and didn't want his food. Not him at all, and after the shock of Donnie and Buster I knew he had to see a vet. Moorview of course were brilliant and squeezed him in. Both scans and x rays couldn't pin point what was making him so ill, and after 3 days of intravenous fluids and anitbiotics his temperature was still extremely high. I was called down by the vet yesterday afternoon as they wanted me to see just how weak he had become. His already wobbly back end was now completely unable to support him, and the vets were still baffled as to what was going on.....

That hour spent with him is so precious now. He knew who I was and a visit from Paul too cheered him up. We cuddled in his kennel he looked so frail I didn't want to let him go.

After speaking to the Vio and Frankie (the vet & nurse who I have to say were amazing) at great lengths it was obvious we had two choices.... let him go there and then or risk sedation or anaesthetic for a CT scan to try and find out what was doing this to our boy. Paul was a big help in helping me decide and we agreed we weren't giving up on Blade without answers. We left him waiting for a CT scan.....

The scan provided us with answers alright, and unfortunately answers we couldn't correct. Blade's liver was huge, as was his kidneys. The CT images showed marks all over both organs that could of been anything from cysts to tumours. To try and work out what each one was would mean testing each one at a great expense. It would also take time. Something we clearly didn't have. We decided to give him another 24 hours and prayed for an improvement, any improvement

At about 7 o'clock last night I got the phone call I'd been dreading. Blade had deteriorated rapidly and his breathing was described as 'gasping.' I dropped everything and rushed to be with him. I arrived to find his head cradled into Frankie's lap, a position I took over, and could see when he opened his mouth to breath that jaundice had began. Clearly his liver was beyond repair. He was dying there in front of me. I knew what we had to do, and Blade left us nuzzling into me so peacefully and calm after the desperate attempts to breath.

Blade had clearly had an awful time before he came to us, his sheer condition told us that. Yet he was such a gentleman and such a big character it feels like he was with us a lot longer than the short time he was. I loved him dearly, as did everyone who worked with him, he is going to be such a big miss. I will never forget the noises he made or the way he would mouth you when he got excited, but perhaps the most important thing is I will never forget how happy he was when he was with us. To of been able to make him that happy is something I will forever be grateful for.

So that's 3 amazing big boys lost in just 6 days. I started this by saying I feel numb and raw, I know others do too. Our hearts have been ripped into tiny pieces this week, but we have some wonderful memories that in time will help piece them back together.....

(I have deliberately not put any 'before' pictures on this post as I want you to remember Blade as the handsome and wonderfully happy boy he was with us.)